The Universal Zone

So there's this weird thing called the friend zone. For whatever reason, girls that I have become really good friends with, that I can pretty much talk with about anything, are just friends, and probably will always just be friends. I think it has something to do with expectation, safety, and comfort. Sometimes I think these are the girls I am best suited to know, care for, and love, yet, it's a strange relationship that takes a lot of mutual effort to change. Mutual effort that I often think both sides don't want to risk in the event that love doesn't blossom, and you lose a friend.

We trust what's safe, yet we want what's dangerous. It's dangerous to share everything about yourself with someone new that you're interested in, or someone old that you're interested in again, because you don't want to be rejected. Because when you are rejected, (yes, everyone is rejected at some point or another, and if not, I hope that you are so you can learn something about relationships), there's a choice you can make. Take it personal by not wanting to share as much next time, and be a little more cautious, or accept it as an opportunity to open another door.

I've always thought I'm about opening new doors, but at times I've realized I'm tired of all the doors I've tried to open, that have been locked, or closed on me. Truth be told, it's often felt like they keep getting closed. Now this is the victim inside of me feeling this way, but it's an honest, true, feeling. How hard could it be to find a door that I would love to go in, and the person inside the room would love me to join them? In theory it's completely simple, but in reality, epics, ballads, stories, and wars have been fought over this notion, this idea of love, of finding your soul mate.

Now there's always the discussion "there are lots of people you can marry out there" which I agree with to a point. But, I found someone once, who changed my universe. It was as if every star, planet, and galaxy came together and made it possible for love to happen. Then life happened, and things changed, and the universe went back to its normal self, waiting again for the opportunity for the cosmos to change for two people to come together. I know it'll happen again one day, and it will be completely new, refreshed, and even more epic then the last time.... it always is.

So in this way, I continue to come up with new theories, to try new keys to lock new doors, and for the sake of the universe upheaving itself and turning inside out, for my sake, I will be ok. I'll keep knocking, I'll keep walking, and I'll keep walking into new rooms, until one day, I find a person to share it with.